It’s amazing the first time you really examine your fears around your mortality and the fragility and preciousness of life. I was bitten by a dog 2 weeks ago. Like it or not, i was shaken wide awake by this scare, and feel like i don’t want to waste another minute being afraid of life. Or not taking the chances i need to take. Or not facing my fears.
When I spend long stints of time wandering the world by myself, I often find myself reflecting on the nature of human attraction.
Especially as a woman who enjoys spending time alone, getting hit on becomes a regular experience. I am under no illusion that it’s because I am special by any means. It just happens. Especially if you are even a little bit warm and friendly. The circumstance does, however, make me wonder about this human dance of attraction, and how I am wired differently than this… (and i know i am not alone)
DRIVING. So you think you get your license when you’re 16, and from there it’s all going to be an automatic piece of cake, right?
Not so fast. Here comes a foreign country with backwards roads and backwards rules, and suddenly you’re like a newborn again (for at least a quick minute).
The neatest thing about traveling alone in a foreign country is that it forces you to grow some serious life hacking skills. It forces you to expand. It forces you to handle your shit and deal with circumstances that are inevitably out of your comfort zone.
Life is Art. And beauty comes in so many shapes and forms. I notice that often when I look at people, I almost feel like i am looking at a painting in an art gallery.
Often the things that are stereotypically thought of as “beautiful” don’t attract me or excite my adoration as much as the features that many of us are trained to think of as “things to fix” or “flaws”
I’ve always simultaneously loved being alone, and felt a deep ache of loneliness, a sadness that i do not feel I belong here, in this strange world. A deep pang of longing to find my Home, find my nest, find where i belong. I know many of us feel this way, despite loving solitude.
This morning I woke up with a density of sadness cloaking me along with the haze of a rainy day.
I lay there, missing the old me … wondering where the days had gone, where I felt like an unstoppable energizer bunny of enthusiasm. Where optimism was effortless and had a life of its own.
It’s such an amazing feeling to witness the tangible results of actively being a meticulous curator of your own experience. Self-sourcing from deep within, instead of seeking externally. It’s not that i “Give No F*cks” anymore, it’s just,… basically, that …i simply Have No F*cks Left to Give
Aaaaah I crashed my scooter and Banged the very top of my head! Owww! Got myself a nifty little brain bruise!! I am truly feeling grateful for the heart-opening, cheerful, soul softening that the the aftermath of this experience induced. I am choosing to lens the experience as a bonk on my seventh chakra, to zap open my connection to the cord of cosmic light that is always pouring in through it anyway… maybe the jolt just sloughed off some energetic residue that was blocking my small self’s connection to my higher self / source!
I went today to write an article about the Tiger Kingdom in Phuket. Seeing these majestic animals in captivity was heartbreaking. And awe inspiring. And… heart breaking. I felt I was there to help. I gave them massages, and reiki, and purring, and cooing and so much love…. aching for and visioning their freedom. It…
A total stranger just loaded me on the back of her motorscooter behind her and her 2 year old son, and drove me up and down the streets of Phuket, trying to find my yoga class. And wouldn’t even accept a penny!