When both sides of a conflict take 150% accountability for a mutually challenging experience – that is how alchemy occurs.
Ultimately, that is the type of dynamic I’m interested in deeply investing into.
150% accountability for projecting onto each other
150 % accountability for misunderstandings
150% accountabilty for ping ponging the electricity upwards in intensity
150% accountability for interrupting each other
150% accountability for defensiveness that arises
150% accountability for the legitimacy of both sides of our experiences
150% responsibility for learning the lessons inherent
150% responsibility for letting it all go as rapidly as possible
My people, my tribe, are the ones who embody this with me in teamwork partnership … it turns conflict from a scary glitch in the field, into an Opportunity.
I am so grateful to have people like this in my life, who embody this maturity and perpetual deepening with me. The relationships that show up in this way are my treasures. Those relationships redefine “safe,” “deep,” and “evolutionary”
Shit happens, people trigger each other, we are perfectly flawed little humans with our cute little wounds. Yet of course some people are harder for us to do this dance with than others
When conflict doesn’t flow into neutrality with mutuality, it isn’t even a bad thing – It’s something to be accepted, looked at, and released. Perhaps it can be revisited once the energy is calmer, (try again … try again…) or perhaps it can just be released without a charge.
Many people hide behind their victim trips … to me that feels dangerous … when someone won’t claim any ownership of the role they played in projecting, interrupting, distorting, or firing up the sizzles of mutually defensive electricity in the field.
As long as both people claim 150%, you can get through any glitch, large or small. You can deepen any friendship no matter the inevitable human challenge or miscommunication.
There are always Equal and Opposite sides in any communication glitch. Equal and opposite mutual accountability.
There is ultimately only one of us here
That’s the only way harmony ever occurs. Everything else is just one sided victim trip purgatory, which is inevitably a dead end street.
I am feeling so so grateful right now that i have such epic beings in my life who impress me with the rapidity of their willingness to go above and beyond the call of duty to own their side of things, and create harmony with immediacy.
Those are true soul bonds – the ones that can not only survive the deep dives beneath the comfortable surface realms, but can thrive and blossom within the deeper, less comfortable depths of challenge
They are the people i would trust with my life. Rare though such friendships may be, they are pure treasure!