CryptoCurrency Bros & Salesman Shows

Bitcoin. I get it, it’s a thing.

But if I could count the number of times I’ve been sitting next to some dude in a co-working space or public cafe, (where dozens of other people are quietly working) … who is loudly taking phone calls, hyping his new cryptocurrency brand, trying to get people on board…

I swear …

I have done my research and i understand the implications of the blockchain and beyond. I have met highly intelligent people I respect with whom I have had informative, fascinating discussions about it.

But those people are never the ones loudly bragging and hyping it, trying to ride some kind of social status bubble. Or trying to get anyone and everyone to give them all their money

The ones who actually seem to have some real knowledge and wisdom are the ones who keep quiet, and do their work behind the scenes.

It’s like these loudmouthed Bros are the new traveling snakeoil salesmen, constructing nothingness out of thin air, selling questionable wares out of their horse and wagon storefront.

“Come and get it while it lasts! You can buy one of my invisible cryptocurrency non-existent coins, for only $1, for a limited time only! Jump on this wagon before it explodes into the next big thing! It’s real if you believe it is real! Don’t look for the man behind the curtain, just give me your money…”

I am sitting here in a cafe, in Ubud, surrounded by a dozen other people who are quietly working on their laptops. I am on the ground at a tiny little table, trying to finish editing my music video, headphones in, minding my own business.

A dude behind me, tanned and muscled, with a surfer demeanor and a salesman vibe, has been loudly on the phone for the last half hour. I’m sure he’s a very nice fellow, but he literally just leaned back and actually laid himself directly next to me, splayed out on the floor 2 inches from my leg.

I had been politely trying to tune him out for the last half hour, but when his face was two feet from my face, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So, as I used to do when i was a journalist – I decided to just document this bizarre moment by taking transcription.

The following was the precise content of his loud, oblivious narrative –

“””Visionaries like us, we’ve got to be execution oriented. What I’m doing right now is working hard to attract and channel resources. My job is to get our currency going. I’ve just got to convince people that ours will be the best, and bring them on board. And once i turn on that valve, and say “ok you can buy shares in this new world we’re creating” …

…once we can offer that structure… we can open up many income funnels. We bring them in. Next thing you know we’ve got a kickstarter campaign to bring that money in. We’ve got events to bring that money in. We just have to help people see beyond where we are at, and buy into where we are going.”””


You can’t make this stuff up. My gag reflex and eye rolling mechanism are on overdrive on the subject. Yes, we get it. You (and ten thousand others), are trying to ride the wave.

Surf’s up dude.

Many other people in the cafe made eye contact with me during this interaction, raising our eyebrows and smiling with an eye roll. We are all trapped here in this noise pollution bitcoin bubble.

The “bros” who are “digital nomads,” who talk loudly to anyone who will listen, about their new currency…, who are announcing loudly that they are on the cutting edge of a cultural fiscal revolution…, and that they will be the leaders of the new world … those are the ones who I trust least. Who impress me least.

They all use the same buzz words. The same hyperactive salesman energy. The same “gotta get on board now, our currency is the best, just give me your money and you can be ahead of the curve…”

These are the Bros who are infecting every public space with their loud conversations, wanting every bystander to know that they are important and might be the next Steve Jobs of CryptoCurrencies

…. and …. they are usually the ones who were flat broke a year ago, and are now trying to position themselves as experts in the field.

They are obviously – NOT.

This feels like the new goldrush. People are descending from far and wide to try their hand at making a quick fortune. But in the end, with most of these pop-up indie cryptos, there may be nothing left but tumbleweeds, deserted ghost towns, and a whole lot of fool’s gold crumbling to dust.

A few weeks ago I met one who was trying to give me his sales pitch. I literally kept trying to change the conversation, asking things like “so what has been your favorite experience on this island?”… to which he would respond without skipping a beat “man all it takes is just that one flip of a switch, you know, and you could be a millionaire, this shit is going to go BIG.”…

“ok, yes, but, so, what did you do last night?”…. (i asked, amused, seeing if we could shift the topic even for a moment) …(to which he replied)…”We’re going to save the world with this coin, it’s about to blow up, I’ll get you in right now at the ground floor. You should be putting in every penny you have right now…”

Wowsers, one track mind…

I have nothing against Bitcoin. Or Ethereum. Or Verge. Or Cardano. Or the next big thing. I’m curious about all of it. I’m fascinated by it. I am observing.

And I am only interested in inquiring into the calm minds and visions of those people who are silent. And intelligent. And informed. And not trying to convince anyone. Who are building their visions without the salesman hype.

Next time I go to work in a cafe, I will be bringing earplugs. Maybe this guy wants to treat me to lunch, and pay for it with his personal invisible not-yet-launched-but-about-to-blow-up brand of Bitcoin?

More power to the future and all of its mysteries and potentials and cultural revolutions.

I’m just sayin’ …

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