This morning I woke up with a density of sadness cloaking me along with the haze of a rainy day.
I lay there, missing the old me … wondering where the days had gone, where I felt like an unstoppable energizer bunny of enthusiasm. Where optimism was effortless and had a life of its own.
(There was a time when just walking down the street felt like floating. Where I approached every day as if all my dreams were about to come true in the next moment.)
I lay in bed, examining the areas where i felt I had lost some of my innocence, some of my core Self that made me who I was, beaming with positivity.
I found myself, strangely, aching for the days when I used to pet puppies like it was my job. I would cross the street just to pet and greet every tail wagging creature I saw.
I made them happy, and they made me happy. And what better way to feel happy, than by making someone else happy?
Yet – These days I find i prefer to keep my hands clean, or wash them immediately after petting furry creatures who may or may not have been out rolling in funk, or licking their own bums.
Thinking of this small loss of innocence made me feel as though I was failing at life. As though i had failed my inner child at preserving its precious, quirky, friendly, goofball spirit.
Then I noticed that i was actually laying there, creating things to feel sad about.
We choose our thoughts. Our thoughts shape our feelings. Our feelings shape our day. So choose those thoughts with intention…. easy, right?
Yet, it just takes a moment of remembrance and recalibration, a gentle shake to reset the snowglobe.
“When you don’t feel good – Choose different thoughts”. …(This is the wisdom and advice given to me by my mentor every. Single. Time. I. Struggle. With. Anything.)
So I rose from bed. Let out the sweet dog I am dog sitting, who stood wagging in the rain, wanting to rub her wet dogginess all over me. I fed her, and petted her in all her unabashed wet dog enthusiasm, and watched wet dog fur rub all over my clean clothes.
I laughed. Then happily washed the wet dog off my hands. Changed my clothes, and felt totally ok with my own evolution around the subject. It’s totally ok to not want wet dog on your clothes.
Silly, and simple … but self acceptance doesn’t always have to be a huge revelation.
With that, I shook off the cobwebs of weighty thoughts. I started focusing my thoughts on how many amazing, epic, incredible blessings are in my life.
An attitude of gratitude always shifts everything. And suddenly it became nearly impossible to think of anything that wasn’t good.
The flood of things to be grateful for was like a waterfall, a torrential downpour thicker than the one falling down outside.
With that sudden change of thoughts, i felt myself lifted as though on a cloud. I floated through the mundane tasks of life beaming with playfulness and exuberance, and noticed how even just a joking word with the gas attendant seemed to spark some tickle of life into his eyes.
We bring ourselves back to life over and over.
We remind ourselves over and over. What it means to be human. And what it means to be alive. And why it is a good thing. A very blessed thing.
And we remind ourselves to choose thoughts that bring about good feelings instead of choosing thoughts that bring about bad ones.
One moment at a time. We resuscitate ourselves. And bring the sparkle back into each breath.
And then … and only then … spirit animates us effortlessly and gives our feet wings.
And that, my friends, is how we levitate.