I just released this new lyric music video for my song Consent. Many women have had experiences with men they actually really liked and cared about, who pushed or rushed us. I wrote this song as a musical dissertation for my future beloved.
Bitcoin. I get it, it’s a thing.
But if could count the number of times I’ve been sitting next to some dude in a co-working space or public cafe, (where dozens of other people are quietly working) … who is loudly taking phone calls, hyping his new cryptocurrency brand, trying to get people on board…
I swear …
As a sensitive human who prefers touch only by invitation, with people i resonate with on many levels, I have always been resistant to the concept of sweaty strange bodies in a room, rubbing all over each other. Tonight I decided to push my boundary and go to a contact improv dance class. Stickiness ensued…
Ubud explorations! I have been getting more and more little peeks into the nooks and crannies of Ubud, venturing further and further out of the village center each day. Yesterday Eli picked me up and took me on a ride through the Monkey Forest. (What??? Yes! It is exactly what it sounds like!) So much visual and cultural stimulus to take in!
Oh Bali, Bali, my soul has found an earth home! From the moment I arrived, I knew this was what i had been searching for. I could feel it in my bones, in the anticipatory squeezing inside of my heart, and the giddy grin that wouldn’t leave my face. There is just so much to witness here … just being here makes me feel fed as if I have eaten a feast through my eyes and my senses.
It’s amazing the first time you really examine your fears around your mortality and the fragility and preciousness of life. I was bitten by a dog 2 weeks ago. Like it or not, i was shaken wide awake by this scare, and feel like i don’t want to waste another minute being afraid of life. Or not taking the chances i need to take. Or not facing my fears.
When I spend long stints of time wandering the world by myself, I often find myself reflecting on the nature of human attraction.
Especially as a woman who enjoys spending time alone, getting hit on becomes a regular experience. I am under no illusion that it’s because I am special by any means. It just happens. Especially if you are even a little bit warm and friendly. The circumstance does, however, make me wonder about this human dance of attraction, and how I am wired differently than this… (and i know i am not alone)
DRIVING. So you think you get your license when you’re 16, and from there it’s all going to be an automatic piece of cake, right?
Not so fast. Here comes a foreign country with backwards roads and backwards rules, and suddenly you’re like a newborn again (for at least a quick minute).
The neatest thing about traveling alone in a foreign country is that it forces you to grow some serious life hacking skills. It forces you to expand. It forces you to handle your shit and deal with circumstances that are inevitably out of your comfort zone.
Life is Art. And beauty comes in so many shapes and forms. I notice that often when I look at people, I almost feel like i am looking at a painting in an art gallery.
Often the things that are stereotypically thought of as “beautiful” don’t attract me or excite my adoration as much as the features that many of us are trained to think of as “things to fix” or “flaws”
I’ve always simultaneously loved being alone, and felt a deep ache of loneliness, a sadness that i do not feel I belong here, in this strange world. A deep pang of longing to find my Home, find my nest, find where i belong. I know many of us feel this way, despite loving solitude.
This morning I woke up with a density of sadness cloaking me along with the haze of a rainy day.
I lay there, missing the old me … wondering where the days had gone, where I felt like an unstoppable energizer bunny of enthusiasm. Where optimism was effortless and had a life of its own.